For the Love of Moms Part Two: Momma Pretzel

March 1, 2010 at 5:53 pm 1 comment

Had I been planning our wedding ten years ago when I was in my early 20’s this post would be very different.   Let’s just say that the planning process would have been painful, with a fair amount of demand making from both sides, unsolicited advice and more than likely yelling and tears.  Thankfully Mr Pretzel and I are getting married now and not then.

In the past 6 years I have cultivated a very special relationship with my Mom.  It started when she became my roommate. Yes you read that correctly. My Mom moved from the east coast and into my guest bedroom.  We learned a lot about each other and have developed a mutual respect outside of our mother daughter relationship. She’s probably been the best roommate I’ve ever had and I will be a little sad when I move into Mr Pretzel and my townhouse this summer.

Let me tell you a little about Momma Pretzel. She and I look an awful lot alike (you don’t say Pretzel) but we’re very different personalities.  I take after my Dad and can be quite the talker/social butterfly. Momma P is more contemplative and does best in small groups or a one on one social situation. She is extremely grounded spiritually and is my rock when it comes to prayer. Momma P sometimes raises an eyebrow to my off the wall ideas and isn’t afraid to tell me I’m nutty.

I have to admit, when we started to plan the wedding I expect to hear a lot of “But you can’t wear colored shoes” or “Beer is not a theme for a wedding”.  I waited for these comments, and waited, and waited.  They never came.  Now I secretly believe that she might be thinking those things, but she hasn’t ever voiced those thoughts to me.  Instead, Momma P has focused her attention on the marriage, not the wedding.  I know that she is supporting us through prayer and that she will continue to do so after we are married.  I am glad that she gets a kick out of our crazy ideas and supports us, beer theme and all.

When my parents got married, my grandmother was all about the wedding planning.  Grandma and Grandpa were expert party throwers and they planned a great affair while my Mom was away at school.  I hadn’t realized how little say my Mom had in her wedding until she and I talked about it at the dinner table a couple weeks ago.  Perhaps this is why she is very hands off with our wedding.

When it comes to my Mom, I have one main regret.  My ‘unconventional ways’ and DIY drive has thus far cut her out of the planning process.  It hasn’t felt like she is really excited about any aspect of the wedding and I think I am mostly to blame. There was no wedding dress shopping trip to kick off the traditional mother and daughter bridal bonding.  When I was thinking about finding a vintage dress I mentioned the possibility of a vintage dress shopping excursion and Mom’s ears perked up.  The shopping trip never happened and I could tell she was disappointed.  If Mr Pretzel were a less involved groom I think I would be leaning on my Mom more for advice and opinions. There are days when I feel like I’m full steam ahead with wedding planning and I left my Mom back at the station on the platform.

Insert sadface.

I think I need to take her up on her offers to help me make paper and fabric flowers or plan a special Mom/Pretzel shopping excursion.

Do you regret leaving someone out of the planning process? Any ideas how I can make Momma P feel more involved?

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Entry filed under: Family.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Aunt S  |  March 24, 2010 at 1:35 pm

    My guess is that your Mom is so happy that you are happy that she probably hasn’t thought about being left out of the planning process. Suggestions: If you are having seating arrangements ask your Mom to help with that. Also, maybe she could help with selecting readings, music, or anything that has to do with the church. If you are all set on your dress, how about going shopping with her for her dress?
    Love you!
    Aunt Sue

    Reply

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