Here We Go Again: Its Not A Wedding?

November 10, 2010 at 7:19 pm Leave a comment

OHMYGODITSNOVEMBER! Mr Pretzel and I have been married four months and in a couple weeks I am going to squeeze slip into my wedding dress again and party once more.  I’ve become BFFs with the post office and their flat rate shipping boxes as of late.  A steady stream of packages are arriving at my In Law’s doorstep each day. Details are getting hammered out but we keep bumping into this one little problem.

Its not a wedding.

Source: Altered by moi

We’re married. We planned and had the wedding and reception of our dreams. We were introduced as husband and wife, had (cup)cake, danced our first dance, were toasted by our dads, tossed the bouquet, took pretty pictures and all around partied our arses off.  It was kick-ass and wonderful but I have no desire to do those things again at our hometown reception… OK I want to take pretty pictures and party our arses off… and I might be convinced to be introduced as “the newlyweds”.

There seems to be very little protocol in the wedding industry for a second reception, especially a second reception that happens over 4 months after the wedding.  I realize that in absence of protocol for this situation wedding vendors fall back on what is familiar: Introduce bridal party, first dance, toasts, bouquet, etc.  May I say that I am not a fan of this?  There is no bride, there is no groom. There is wife and husband and maybe newlyweds.

It might sound like I don’t want a second reception- I do!  What I don’t want is a second reception that pretends it is the first reception.  The second reception is primarily for most of Mr Pretzel’s family and my dad’s side of the family.  For the most part these two groups weren’t able to make it to Seattle and celebrating with them is important to us.  We aren’t going to be able to recreate the event for people but we will be able to give them a glimpse into the day we said “I do”

Mr P and I discussed this dilemma: make it “wedding-y” or make it “something else”.  Wedding-y is easy because it is familiar and comfortable for guests and vendors alike while “something else” has no blueprint or boundaries and is thus more time consuming to figure out.   We need to figure out what “something else” looks like.

Things we don’t want:

  • Be referred to as “The Bride and Groom”
  • Bouquet Toss, cake cutting, speeches/toasts, etc
  • Any distinction of bridal party (some of our bridal party will not be there)
  • To pretend that we were *just married*

Things we do want:

  • Our guests to feel like they got an intimate glimpse into our wedding day
  • Celebrate our newlywed-ness with people we love
  • Laughter
  • Dancing
  • Nom, Nom, Nom

It feels good to break away from “wedding-y”… now if I could only get all of my vendors on the same page.  Mr P and I are sitting down to “re-write” our DJ’s info sheet because when I crossed out all the aforementioned things we didn’t want to do there really wasn’t much to the sheet besides start time and end time.

Did you do a second reception?  Where did it fall on the wedding-y -> “something else” scale?  Any tips for “something else”?

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Entry filed under: Planning.

One Foot in the Past, One foot in the Future Here We Go Again: What to do at part deux?

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